i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize