i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
