Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
