I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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