Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
