is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
