We're like a lot better than the average bears
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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