walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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