this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
