Taylor Swift is so right about you.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
