She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
