One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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