He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
