it wasn't lemon gatorade
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
My vagina just recognized that song.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I came so hard my ears popped.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
