i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
