I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
