Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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