If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
