just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
