Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
