4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize