i think i have two assholes
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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