the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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