I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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