even my farts smell like vagina
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
