im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
