We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i was born a porn star she said
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I supernannyed him into submission
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
