Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
