last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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