My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
