2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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