when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize