Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
