Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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