my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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