so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
