I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
