Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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