I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
