apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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