Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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