I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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