The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
