Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
