singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
