I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
