Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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