You work out of a Hotel?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
