Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
