i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
