woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
