girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize