hell yes lets make some ravioli
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
