she was so not down for the gang bang
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
