that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
