If i come over, it means nothing
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize