Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
