I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
