My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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