His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
