I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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