the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
