so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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