he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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