hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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